notes to self

32-20 Blues

2008-12-31T15:45:00.000-08:00

Note to Will Scarborough, Pacific Northwest

2008-12-04T13:57:00.000-08:00

Dear Will,
No sorry I don't remember you, but I'd be most happy to make contact. Please email me chloe at sbc global . net with your contact info, and let's catch up. Are you buying property up there in Quincy?

ps: You mean that guy's name was not 'Dumboz?'
Thanks,
Chloe

Chloe Atkins

2008-12-04T10:27:00.001-08:00

Several people invite me to join their social network on the internet, for instance friendster was an early one, and most recently facebook. And I get a lot of junk email indicating a Chloe Atkins presence on facebook. So today I checked it out, and all these people are identified as Chloe Atkins on facebook.

Who woulda' thunk? When I was a little girl in the 1950s and '60s, nobody had ever even heard of the name Chloe, much less pronounce it or spell it correctly. Now it's confusing who is the real Chloe Atkins. I mean, if my name were Jane or Mary . . .

caveware

2008-11-28T16:59:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T10:21:00.000-08:00

Given the passage of Prop 8, I have to admit it’s been challenging this year to focus on being thankful. The days since the passage of Prop 8 have been difficult and painful. It was a loss for all who cherish fairness and equality.

The lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community has faced the unprecedented experience of having fundamental rights eliminated by a majority of voters in California. There is a very good reason why, as a nation, we have not put the rights of a minority up for popular vote — this is an outcome which mars the dignity not only of our lives, but also of the democratic process.

But as challenging as the last several weeks have been, I have found many things to be thankful for.

The support from so many of our allies who have joined with us to overturn Prop 8 has been inspiring. Prop 8 defeats the very purpose of our constitution, which is to protect minorities and to make sure the law treats everyone equally. The California Supreme Court has accepted our case challenging Prop 8 and we continue to believe that the Supreme Court will do the right thing and overturn this unconstitutional Proposition.

Aside from marriage inequality and the feelings I have around homophobia in general, I am very happy. I have a loving wonderful wife who shares my commitment to a long and cherished life together. Chances are, we will be able to remain 'married' at least in the state of California, no matter what the Supreme Court decides on Proposition 8. We enjoy good health. We have a beautiful, comfortable, and safe home. Our yard and neighborhood are comfortable and comforting. We eat well, and are fortunate to have many interesting friends.

Happy Thanksgiving

Another Random Act of Kindness

2008-11-26T16:39:00.000-08:00

Our neighbor, Marsha Balian, gave us one of her cool sculptures for a wedding present.

Big Daddy

2008-11-25T16:29:00.000-08:00

Thinking of you today Adam

November 28, 1947 - November 25, 2005

Santa Barbara getaway

2008-11-19T11:26:00.000-08:00

Erin took me on a quick getaway last week to Santa Barbara. As we were driving in, the enormous full moon filled the twilight.

We stayed at the 4 Seasons, a big hotel on the beach with a beautiful tropical botanical garden right outside our room.

One night, as we were driving to dinner, we saw a fire start up the road from the restaurant. It burned for 3 or 4 days, destroying hundreds of homes and acres of landscaping. Later we learned that Santa Barbara County has no water rationing in spite of the drought.

Still, we enjoyed our little vacation.

My Hero

2008-11-08T11:03:00.000-08:00

This is such a good performance!

Dave Grohl and Nate Mendel, My Hero

Unequal Rights, by Popular Demand

2008-11-06T07:49:00.000-08:00

Well, the California voters have done it. They have changed the state Constitution to deny Erin and I the rights afforded to every married couple by limiting marriage to between a man and a woman. In other words, Chloe, wake up! All men are created equal except, of course, if you do not happen to conform to heterosexual myth. I can see why this makes me angry. I tasted full equality since May 15 of this year, when the state Supreme Court determined it was against the constitution to deny anybody equal rights. Well, now the constitution says it can and will allow special rights, over 500 special rights, for a certain group of people, and deny those rights to every one else. So I was a fool to believe the hype about equal rights. This puts me in my place. Equal rights and the ideas around full equality are an ideal, not a reality. Sort of like a balanced state budget, peace on earth, and do unto others.

At least our government does not put queers in prisons and death camps, like the Nazis did in Germany in the 20th century. I am grateful for that. But I will watch cautiously. In case it starts to go that way, I'm outta here!

Bridge School Concert

2008-10-31T10:37:00.000-07:00

Erin took me to the concert that benefits the Bridge School down by San Jose. It was pretty great, all these bands like Norah Jones and Sarah McLachlan, Death Cab for Cutie and Wilco. We had to leave before Jack Johnson and Neil Young, long drive home and late at night, but the whole experience was great.

Spanish Fish in a Sack

2008-10-24T15:34:00.000-07:00

Here's one to try out, Spanish Fish in a Sack, courtesy of Rachael Ray and Thirty Minute Meals, even though it takes me about 1.5 hours to make this. But I clean and cut fresh green beans, and roast my red pepper on the grill before adding it to the parchment paper. I use about 4 oz fish for each serving, and fresh local sable fish (black cod) when it is available because it is so oily and delicious. I also try to find the saltiest black olives available, even if they have the pits. And I cook it on my gas grill, as hot as it gets, for 10-12 minutes. So I never really follow a recipe. Still, this Spanish Fish in a Sack is so excellent, puts a smile on my face, and Erin's.
Parchment paper
1 pound ready-trimmed green beans, available in produce department, halved on an angle across
8 anchovy fillets, optional (I like the anchovies, Erin does not)
4 large garlic cloves, minced
16 strips thinly sliced pimientos or roasted red pepper
1/2 cup pitted chopped good quality black olives, such as kalamata
2 pounds cod fillets, cut into 4 portions (get thick pieces from the center cuts rather than tail-end pieces) Or 4 red snapper fillets, 8 ounces each
Salt and pepper
4 scallions, chopped
1/4 cup flat leaf parsley, a generous handful, chopped
Extra-virgin olive oil, for generous drizzling
1 lemon, zested and juiced

Before it's cooked, it looks like this:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Rip off 4 sheets of parchment paper, each a little over a foot long.

Place 1/4 of the green beans in the center of each sheet then top with 2 anchovy fillets -- or don't, 1/4 of the garlic, 1/4 of the pimiento or roasted pepper strips, chopped olives and cod or snapper portions. Season the fish with salt and pepper and top with equal amounts of the scallions and parsley. Drizzle extra-virgin olive oil liberally and equally along with lemon zest and juice evenly over the fish portions. Fold the top and bottom edges together and crease several times then crease up the ends of the packets, making a sack for each fish to cook in. Arrange the sacks on the baking sheet and place in the center of the hot oven.

Bake packets 20 minutes. Serve a packet per dinner plate and cut open at table. Pass salad or Potatoes with Chorizo and Onions or even simply some good, chewy bread to round out the meal.

Happy Birthday Dad

2008-10-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

I think today is my father's 100th birthday!
October 17, 1908 - 2008.
With fond memories,
Chloe

Death-to-Indigenous-People Day and I am stuck in war hell

2008-10-06T15:08:00.001-07:00

As I was out enjoying my peaceful sunny garden, the Blue Angels just dive bombed our back yard. How I wish they were not allowed to disturb my peace, those evil celebrators of war, horror, violence and oppression. The alarm they send reminds me it will be fleet week in the San Francisco Bay Area, Columbus Day, or more appropriately, Death-to-Indigenous-People Day every year. Usually I try to get Erin to take me out of town, far away from here. And then I let the mayors know, I protest by spending my money in another, more peaceful, and more safe location. But there is no escaping them this year. I am stuck here in war hell. I hear them circling the blue sky as I type this.

And, yet again, I demand to know,
What is their effect on the environment?
What are we going to have to do to repair their damage?
How could these people be occupied in a less-destructive, more constructive manner?

(see also http://www.chloeatkins.com/notestoself/2007_02_01_archive.html)

Random Act of Kindness

2008-09-30T09:39:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we had the 5th annual Kales Avenue street party, where the neighbors got together for bar-be-que in the street. As in the past, we got a permit to block the street to traffic passing between College and Broadway. Unbeknownst to us, the Out-and-About in Rockridge, much bigger street party, was scheduled on the very same day. Well, no problem, really, and the neighbors got together in the street. The kids can ride their bikes up and down without fear of cars, etc. Well into the get-together, I look up from my conversation and saw a man walking up the middle of the street toward us looking like he wanted to talk with someone, and no one was paying any attention to him. So I excused myself and went to greet him with a smile. It was a party after all. He said he needed to get his car through, and I said, no problem, we'd clear the way for him, which we did. As he passed, he gave me this beautiful vase.
I was all, no no, you don't have to give me anything, I'm glad to help you. He insisted. He said he does glass. I guess so. It's beautiful!

So everytime I look on this vase, I will be inspired to look for an opportunity to practice a random act of kindness, as that gentle man did. This world could sure use it.

2008-09-25T15:49:00.000-07:00

Wow so much has happened since I last posted photos. Even before the Slow Food Festival. There was Erin's birthday.

Sarah, our good luck charm, came into town for a visit.

Then it was my birthday. We went to Stinson Beach.

The mid-summer garden was fabulous!

We took some time later in the month to drive up to Mendocino County,
and visited glass beach. I had not been there since the 1970s, and Erin had never been there.

Then there was the Slow Food Festival, just to keep things in chronological order.

Starting in September, Molly and Davina got married again. Mark Leno performed a really great ceremony. They both sing beautifully.

Well, then Erin and I got married again.
We could only invite 6 people, because we had it at SF City Hall. It is so romantic to get married every couple of years. We do hope this time it is forever. I hope people vote against Proposition 8 and it does not pass. Funded by the Mormon Church, it changes the State of California's Constitution to deny lesbians equal rights by limiting marriage to between a man and a woman. If Prop. 8 does pass, I hope ALL the rights are removed from marriage, so men and women can still get married as they wish, but non-heterosexuals are treated equally in the eyes of the law. That's what is meant by separation of church and state, and equality for all, two of the major legal guarantees supposedly existing in our nation. Without any legal rights and responsibilities associated with marriage, nobody will have special rights. Nobody will be denied rights.

Last weekend, we got a preview of the new Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park. My two favorite things about that are the alligator exhibit
and the rooftop garden. Too, too, too wonderful.

Slow Food Farmers' Market

2008-08-29T13:32:00.000-07:00

I had a fabulous time today at the Slow Food festival at San Francisco's Civic Center. I bought little potatoes of every color and two kinds of organic brown rice - direct from the farmers. Got some beautiful goat cheese from the lovely Dee Harley of Pescadero. I was thinking I'd save it for when our figs get ripe, but I'll probably eat it today for lunch with this incredible green melon I also picked up. I spun by the Victory Garden. I got a giant cucumber and some endive. The lady even showed how endive grows. It makes this big root; I was amazed. I got Ghee, which is a sort of clarified butter, made from organic Straus Creamery Butter. I met the Straus family. They put in a cool electric system on their Pt. Reyes cattle ranch that utilizes the methane produced by their cattle to provide their electricity. So it prevents all that waste going into the ground, the water, the air. They are young, too. Along with my admiration for their forward thinking in energy, I told them how much I love love love their fat free vanilla yogurt.

I also got intervied by the Washingtonpost.Newsweek Interactive Video Producer. I saw Don Sanchez there as I was leaving; he's a local news reporter, getting ready to report. As I walked by, some tall skinny guy threw a beer on the ground at their feet and it exploded everywhere. Don was not even rattled. It was getting quite crowded by that time, and I was hot. As I left, I photographed a bus that had another bus upside down on top of it. But I cannot upload any photos from my iPhone until I upgrade my system. Sometimes newer technology doesn't make it easier at all. Certainly not simpler.

The only thing I didn't find that I was looking for was handmade salumi, or whole wheat bread. It was cool anyway.

July Photos and Thoughts

2008-07-31T09:45:00.000-07:00

July has been an eventful month. We did get to see the sunset over the Marin County Fair from the top of that ferris wheel.

Erin's friend from college, Laura, came to visit with her two adorable daughters, Delia and Samantha.

We all went to Fisherman's Wharf and Pier 39 one day.

Delia touched a shark.

And, we went down the crookedest street.

Yesterday I waited several hours in line (again) and bought an iPhone, the newest, latest and greatest in modern technology. Or, I should say, in marketing. Apple does an incredible job of making a person (me) feel like their life would be enhanced if only they/I got this one more thing, a portable PC with all the necessities in my pocket. Thing is, a bunch of people waited in line for over 3 hours in front of the store, as so many thousands of others have done since the newest model hit the stores July 11th. By standing, waiting, and purchasing, it gives the message to observers, "Hey, this must be a really cool thing." Everybody feels the emptiness inside. In some ways consuming is an urge to fill that. I even talked with the man in line in front of me about how ludicrous it is, how nobody sits and talks face to face with each other anymore. We're all more comfortable with the keyboard, the ability to delete, edit, time our carefully composed statements. Walking down the streets, many people are talking on their phones. Sitting in cafes, many people are on their laptops. In their cars, single drivers. Yet, there is a beauty to the immediate-ness of global reach at my fingertips, information, opinion, entertainment, without all that research. Also, one can publish without struggling with the opinions of an editor, without even caring about the market particularly, because nobody has to pay to view the images or my notestoself on my website. (Sometimes this gets one into trouble, but that's another story.)

Garden enjoyment

2008-07-04T11:34:00.000-07:00

Our driveway has gone through some changes recently.
June 3, 2008
July 4, 2008
The chamomile path is very aromatic.
Our pear tree is doing much better this year.Last year it had fireblight.

Here is the Adam Kazimir Ciesielski Memorial Garden.
Petunia loves hanging out with me.

Staghorn fern and part of the shade garden

June is gay pride month

2008-06-30T16:57:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since I wrote to my blog, but here are a few of the things we've been doing.

First, June 20th, there was an incredible full moon that rose over the horizon right outside our new deck. I guess I don't have exactly the right equipment to photograph it, but the memory is intact.

Then, Erin's friend from college, Jen, came and visited with her husband, Richard, and their two adorable children, Davis and Liam. We had a great time playing with all my toys in the back yard.

June is gay pride month in San Francisco, or lesbian gay bisexual transgendered or lgbt, pride, so we saw movies almost every night at the Frameline film festival. I love this month!
Ending with the dyke march on June 29th.

Poor Cal, her battery went dead on her motor bike, but she and Audrey do make a handsome couple.

2008-06-08T08:47:00.000-07:00

Note to self 6/7/8
Fresh local sablefish is moister and therefore more tender than fresh local halibut. However, the sablefish filet has lots more bones.

North Carolina

2008-05-30T14:46:00.000-07:00

Last week Erin and I enjoyed a wonderful visit with my nephew, Michael, his wife, Kirsten, and four children (l to r Ryland, Cole, Harper, Simon), in Durham, North Carolina.

Landmark Marriage Equality Decision!

2008-05-15T13:47:00.000-07:00

Hooray! The California State Supreme Court today ruled it unconstitutional to deny Erin and I equal rights to marry each other.

It has been a long road of struggle for all same-sex couples. Erin and I have long sought to celebrate our commitment. First, on September 3, 1997, our 3-year anniversary, we registered as Domestic Partners with the City and County of San Francisco.
The following June Willie Brown invited us to SF City Hall to celebrate in masse with about 1,000 other same-sex Domestic Partner couples.

Next, we celebrated a Civil Union in Vermont, September 23, 2000. This grants us certain limited state rights if we were to reside in Vermont. (It will also be difficult to dissolve. If we ever split up, one of us would have to reside for a year in Vermont. We do not intend to ever split up.)

On Valentine's Day, February 14, 2004, we joined thousands of other same-sex couples and received marriage licenses at San Francisco City Hall. This was later nulled.

I wonder if, with the Supreme Court's decision today, we are now considered married again? I know not federally, but in the state of California?

Death to homophobic bigotry. May it rot in the sewage of hatred. I won't go so far to say death to homophobic bigots, because I know some homophobic bigots. Even though I am very disappointed by their ignorance, I believe with time and patient pursuasion, they may be open to growing to accept me and my wife, Erin. I hope we have enough time to realize full equality in our lifetime.

Violence and Ignorance in Perpetuity

2008-05-03T11:08:00.000-07:00

Erin's note to the Neighbors,

I'm very shaky but wanted you all to know right away that a man attempted to mug me May 2, 7:05pm, as I walked home from BART. Chloe had walked up to greet me, and she took my computer bag. I had my purse in hand as we walked down College back toward Kales. Just as we finished crossing Lawton, in broad daylight, a man came up behind me, stomped on my foot, then tried to grab my purse. His pull on the purse whirled me around, but i held tight. I was confused and yelled, Hey! what's going on! Chloe starting yelling as he ran up Lawton. He was a young black man, early 20s. He was bulky, but ran like an athlete. He wore a white tee shirt, with a red bandanna around his neck. He had on a white cap with a black brim. I never saw his face.

Folks on the street and from Pasta Pomodoro came to our aid and gave descriptions. I called 911 from the scene. They came to the house to take a report later that night.

Thankfully, I'm shaky with a sore foot. I'm so glad he didn't get my purse.

Please be careful out there!!

Chloe's thoughts: the other really frightening thing about this experience is:

The cops came to our house to take a statement, and as one was interviewing Erin, the other was telling me we should arm ourselves with Mace, something called CO with colored dye, or hand guns! He said in some states people can shoot to kill the perpetrators of crimes, and then the problem is eliminated! I could not sleep last night thinking about it. My hope is that the young man who hit Erin realized what an awful mistake it was, had regrets, and that's why he didn't kill us both (considering his size that would have been easy enough), but rather went off and thought deep and hard about the human condition, how we all need each other to survive in this congested urban environment, and vowed to go into social services and/or health care. I am horrified at the thought of shooting another person. What a nightmare that would be. I told the officer I feel this way. It is why I don't let guns in my life. Even the cops being around are scary. Violence perpetuates violence. Ignorance perpetuates ignorance.

vocabulary

2008-04-03T21:01:00.000-07:00

In my search through life's trails, I find each crossroad necessitates new vocabulary.

Stove: An apparatus in which electricity or a fuel is used to furnish heat, as for cooking or warmth.
Oven: A chamber or enclosed compartment for heating, baking, or roasting food, as in a stove, or for firing, baking, hardening, or drying objects, as in a kiln.
Range: A stove with spaces for cooking a number of things at the same time.

Lattice: An open framework made of strips of metal, wood, or similar material overlapped or overlaid in a regular, usually crisscross pattern.
Arbor: A shady resting place in a garden or park, often made of rustic work or latticework on which plants, such as climbing shrubs or vines, are grown.
Trellis: A structure of open latticework, especially one used as a support for vines and other creeping plants.
Pergola: An arbor or a passageway of columns supporting a roof of trelliswork on which climbing plants are trained to grow.

Arthroplasty: surgical reconstruction or replacement of a malformed or degenerated joint.
Osteotomy: Surgical division or sectioning of bone.