caveware

Thanksgiving

Given the passage of Prop 8, I have to admit it’s been challenging this year to focus on being thankful. The days since the passage of Prop 8 have been difficult and painful. It was a loss for all who cherish fairness and equality.

The lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community has faced the unprecedented experience of having fundamental rights eliminated by a majority of voters in California. There is a very good reason why, as a nation, we have not put the rights of a minority up for popular vote — this is an outcome which mars the dignity not only of our lives, but also of the democratic process.

But as challenging as the last several weeks have been, I have found many things to be thankful for.

The support from so many of our allies who have joined with us to overturn Prop 8 has been inspiring. Prop 8 defeats the very purpose of our constitution, which is to protect minorities and to make sure the law treats everyone equally. The California Supreme Court has accepted our case challenging Prop 8 and we continue to believe that the Supreme Court will do the right thing and overturn this unconstitutional Proposition.

Aside from marriage inequality and the feelings I have around homophobia in general, I am very happy. I have a loving wonderful wife who shares my commitment to a long and cherished life together. Chances are, we will be able to remain 'married' at least in the state of California, no matter what the Supreme Court decides on Proposition 8. We enjoy good health. We have a beautiful, comfortable, and safe home. Our yard and neighborhood are comfortable and comforting. We eat well, and are fortunate to have many interesting friends.

Happy Thanksgiving

Another Random Act of Kindness

Our neighbor, Marsha Balian, gave us one of her cool sculptures for a wedding present.

Big Daddy

Thinking of you today Adam


November 28, 1947 - November 25, 2005

Santa Barbara getaway

Erin took me on a quick getaway last week to Santa Barbara. As we were driving in, the enormous full moon filled the twilight.






We stayed at the 4 Seasons, a big hotel on the beach with a beautiful tropical botanical garden right outside our room.





One night, as we were driving to dinner, we saw a fire start up the road from the restaurant. It burned for 3 or 4 days, destroying hundreds of homes and acres of landscaping. Later we learned that Santa Barbara County has no water rationing in spite of the drought.








Still, we enjoyed our little vacation.

My Hero

This is such a good performance!

Dave Grohl and Nate Mendel, My Hero

Unequal Rights, by Popular Demand

Well, the California voters have done it. They have changed the state Constitution to deny Erin and I the rights afforded to every married couple by limiting marriage to between a man and a woman. In other words, Chloe, wake up! All men are created equal except, of course, if you do not happen to conform to heterosexual myth. I can see why this makes me angry. I tasted full equality since May 15 of this year, when the state Supreme Court determined it was against the constitution to deny anybody equal rights. Well, now the constitution says it can and will allow special rights, over 500 special rights, for a certain group of people, and deny those rights to every one else. So I was a fool to believe the hype about equal rights. This puts me in my place. Equal rights and the ideas around full equality are an ideal, not a reality. Sort of like a balanced state budget, peace on earth, and do unto others.

At least our government does not put queers in prisons and death camps, like the Nazis did in Germany in the 20th century. I am grateful for that. But I will watch cautiously. In case it starts to go that way, I'm outta here!